Obviously, we’ve all known for quite a while just how great farts are. Its a generally accepted fact. But now there is yet another reason for loving farts. And it’s a big one. Smelling farts cures cancer! That’s right, grandma no longer needs to blame the dog. She can be proud to take the credit knowing she has contributed to the well-being of everyone in the room.

Smelling Farts Cures Cancer

Ok, so maybe it’s not as clear-cut as that. Don’t start farting on your unfortunate and sick friends. Well, you can but not altruistically. But seriously, scientists have revealed that smelling farts can help prevent disease and yeah, cancer.

Take it from the scientists: “[Farts] could in fact be a healthcare hero with significant implications for future therapies for a variety of diseases,”.

The above quote comes from Dr. Mark Wood who was a part of a study done by The University of Exeter in England that claims that limited exposure to hydrogen sulfide, aka fart fuel, helps ward off sickness.

Unfortunately, it is with mixed emotions that we hear of this discovery. The joy that comes with knowing that at this moment I am decreasing my risk of cancer with my butthole is being counteracted by the horrifying experiments taking place in the new field of fart replication also known as fartificial life.

These scientists are so excited about their discovery that they’ve set out to recreate fart gas sans anus. This is clearly unethical and must be stopped. Trying to bottle the wonderful essence of farts is like trying to clone and sell human souls. It is the classic Dr. Frankenstein story of an overzealous scientist crossing the line between breakthrough and abomination.